Mittwoch, 13. Januar 2010

13012010

For once, a not QRed entry. I had something bouncing through my thoughts over and over during the last weeks, and I felt like writing it down. Where to? Twitter no way, Facebook? Better not.
End result, I'll make an exception, and I'll post it here.

It is about my nickname. My nick accompanied my online life since quite a long time now. It has become integral part of me.
If I would have to take a rough guess, more people know my nick than my real name.
Nowadays my nick has become nothing more than a chosen version of my real name. In other words, my nick lost any reason to exist, apart from simplifying the life of those unable to pronounce my real name.

A long time ago, my nickname was a way to escape my real life shyness,inability to keep up with small talk, to be less careful about social protocol, to express what I thought without having to think too much about it.

If someone had a problem with it, (almost) no tracing back nor impact on my "RL".
Weirdly enough, those fears have been always proved to be unmotivated, honestly I cannot remember anyone disliking the directness, honesty and the black humour I  let out in those days.

I dare to say, I was a definitely more interesting person online than off line.

Instead of taking those positive reinforcements in consideration, I moved in the opposite direction becoming more and more self aware, more and more concerned about staining my nick with anything even slightly controversial.

Those sides of me are still there,even if currently buried under a pile of doubts.

What now? Nothing really, just a written manifestation of few thoughts have been infesting my mind lately.

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